We met in October to listen to and discuss two pieces of recorded client work.
The first piece prompted discussion about the effects of apparent knowingness or certainty in the therapist. While therapist confidence might reassure some clients, we saw how it could also block the client’s process. We were particularly interested in the extent to which mis-communications between client and therapist were exacerbated when the therapist is insufficiently tentative . This style in the therapist seems to intrude in the development of a mutually understandable language and increases the risk that each person attributes his own meanings. In the extreme , the client is lost and confused.
The second recording provoked a lively discussion about possible ways of responding to the erotic transference, in particular when a client falls in love with the therapist. The main question to emerge was ‘at what point should it be made known that there can be no romantic future.’ One opinion is that this information should be held back to allow the client to express as much about the loving feelings as he would wish. This approach risks inflating the client’s unrealistic fantasy but allows full expression of the client’s experience. An alternative view was that it is kinder and clearer to make an early intervention to explain that there can be no romantic attachment but the therapist is respectfully interested in hearing more. This might stiffle the clients ability to say fully what he wanted to say, but has the merit of clarity. It seemed to hinge on the extent to which the therapist can convey a quiet steady openness to the subject and the extent to which client is able to continue to explore his feelings in the face of a felt rejection. We were acutely aware of the effort required by the therapist to manage her own powerful feelings in response to a declaration like this from the client.